Bikash Kalita : Your Life, Your Choice

Don’t like your life-change it

If you are speaking with someone but you don’t like what you’re talking about, what can you do? Change the topic. Find another topic to talk about. If you do not like talking to one person, you can change the person and go talk to someone else. We often do that. It’s very simple. If that’s so, why don’t we do the same in other aspects of our lives?

If you’re not feeling good, then change the feelings? Try it for just one day. If necessary consciously change the feeling you are having right now with another pleasant feeling and see how you will feel better.

If you don’t like the topic you’re discussing, change the topic. Isn’t that so easy? Likewise, changing other things are also easy. If you do not like the life you have right now, change it. The important elements and aspects of your life which are not good for you at present or which are not according to your choice, you can change them. Sometimes it is not even necessary to change when you can simply repair it or make it work. When something breaks down or a machine breaks down, you can repair it or fix it, likewise, if there are some things in your life that you don’t like but do not want to change completely, you can fix it or repair it. You don’t have to change everything completely.

But you will need to remember just one thing – if you do not change your life no one else will.


Don’t cry

Crying won’t help you. However much you want to cry, you can cry but that is not going to solve any problem for you. Nobody cares. So, if there is something broken or there is something that you like in your life crying “in my life, this is broken, that is broken,” or “I’m so unlucky,” or “why this happens only with me?” Or “there’s nothing in my life,” will never help you. Have you noticed that people who always cry or whine all the time but do nothing to change their lives, the lives remain the same for them? They whine or cry throughout the lives. Unless you do something yourself, nothing’s going to change. Even if sometimes for some reason something changes, that change may not be what you want. It will be better to start trying to make the changes you want to see. Then it is more likely that your life will become what you want it to be.

Do not blame others

Why not? Because even if you blame someone else repeatedly for your life or for the sad condition of your life, or tell others about the person you think responsible for your problems and even if he accepts your accusations, your life will not change. Unless you change it, it is not going to change. If it is you who needs to change it, then why waste your time by blaming someone else?

Moreover blaming others is nothing but an excuse. Probably you can fool someone and maybe also yourself with this blaming game, but you won’t find any benefit in it. When you will look back at your life, what results you got and what you did will be more important and not why you could not or because of whom you could not do it.

You will need to work for it. You will not get the life you want automatically. It may run automatically even if you don’t do anything but it will not be as per your liking and what you want it to be. To get a life you want, you will need to work towards that goal.


What do you want?

Before you start changing your life, the first thing that you need to understand and know is what you want. Then only will be able to find out what you need to do to make that change to get what you want. And then you can start working to achieve that. You can start in small bits and pieces. Start small, completed and then start the next small step which will gradually take you towards your goal of a life that you want.

When you do what you want to do, you will feel intrinsic motivation and that will propel you to move ahead and keep doing what you need to do. At present only one not interested in doing anything because you are doing something which you don’t like. It will be possible to find out what you want to do if you were totally honest with yourself. You will know who you are, what you want and what stage your life is in at present.

A few questions

A few questions will help you to find out what you need to change in your life, which direction you need to go and how to proceed.

These questions include what do I love, what will be my legacy, what I would have done if there were obstacles in life, what I would have done if I would not have to work for money, what type of work can make me happy, what other things I hate but I’m doing right now etc.

Answers to these questions will help you to understand a lot of things about yourself and that will help you to decide the direction of your efforts.

Things to leave

If you want to improve your life, you will need to leave a few of the things that you may have right now. Being proud of small things, running away from problems, depending more on this, seeking pleasure, staying in the comfort zone, seeking certainty, some of the old ideas and beliefs, some additions. Don’t worry, once you start the process of changing yourself, you will come to know what you need to leave.


When you are trying to change your life, you will need to remember one simple fact- it will only change when you change your habits. Your habits decide how you behave every day and your life will become how you behave. If because of some of the habits that you have your life has gone for a toss, is in a mess or is broken, then you will need to change those habits and will have to install better habits which will help you to create a life that you want.


When you will try to change your life, there will be some tears involved in the process. That’s not bad. Those tears will help you to see your life more clearly by washing away the dust, debris, and germs.

It’s your responsibility

Changing your life and making it better is your responsibility. No one else will do it for you and no one else can do it. Unless you take responsibility of your life, it is not going to change and it is not going to be a life that you want. Take responsibility. Then, you will do whatever is necessary and then only the journey of changing your present life and achieving the life that you want will start.

If you are not happy with the present life that you have, you will need to start to try to change it to make it what you want it to be. It will not happen in a day, maybe it will take lots of time, but it will be done one day. If you do not do anything to change it is, then it will never happen.


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