Bikash Kalita : Your Life, Your Choice

You are a failure, a loser

You are a failure, I loser. I’m not saying that. You have decided that yourself. Maybe it’s you who decided that you are a loser and a failure or maybe someone else, who could be someone you love or close to or someone unknown, made you believe that you are a loser and a failure. You understood that and you also believe that.

That is the problem.

Once you believe it, your life will become that unless you decide to change it at a later date sometimes.

Loser and a failure. Whether you believe it yourself or somebody else may be believe it, be careful. In both the cases, you’re likely to become one.

But in reality, are you really a failure and loser? Let’s find out.


How do you know?

How do you know you are a loser and a failure? Somebody told you so or have you decided it yourself? Ask yourself because of absence of which of the things, virtues, skills you consider yourself as a failure and loser. And also think if these are the best variables and methods of finding successful people and minerals.

Are you having that thought because you don’t have money, property, don’t have the job you wanted, don’t have the person you loved or for some similar reason? Or have you decided so by comparing yourself and your life with someone studied with you in your primary, secondary school or in college? To compare both of you, do both of you have the same past, present, skills, education, thoughts, attitude? Is it so?

Do you think you are a loser or a failure just because you don’t have enough money? So, it means you’d have been a winner and a successful person if you had lots of money? Even though you deny it in front of others but you believe it inside, it means you place more weightage on money in comparison to anything else in life. And if you think money is the most important thing in your life then why you criticise someone else who is showing off and throwing weight around because he has lots of money?

How do others know?

Who decided that you are a loser and failure?

Which person decided that you are a failure and the loser? What is he/she himself/herself? Is he himself unsuccessful? Is he a person who has accepted defeat in life?

Probably both are true in his case because only a defeated, a loser, a failure, and negative and a toxic person can tell you that you are a failure and the loser. What is more important here is that someone labelled you as a failure and loser and you accepted that. Why? Why did you accept? Does he know everything in this world? Is he an expert in that field? Who conferred him the position of an expert?

On what basis did you decide that?

On what basis have you decided that you are a loser and a failure? Because you don’t have a big job, because you don’t have loads of money, because you are not staying in the biggest city in the world, because you’re not smart, because you not highly educated or based on other factors? Ask the expert that question and also ask him how he knew that these are the basis of deciding unsuccessful and failed people. Ask him if those are the international standard for the siding whether someone is a loser and failure.


You are different from others, so run your own race

You are different from other people. That’s true. Do not forget about it and do not accept a normal life just because someone said so or because of social pressure or because of any other pressure. Even though other people may spend their whole life for earning money, power and property but you don’t have to do that. If you don’t like it, maybe that race is not for you. Instead of that, why don’t you run your own race? Decide where you will run, how fast you will run and how you’ll run. If you are happy with farming and producing foods, then do it. If you are happy teaching children at school, to that. If you are happy working in an NGO on women empowerment, do that. All you need to remember is that whatever you do, you’ll have to be exceedingly good in that, and otherwise what is the point of doing something.

The lives of people who are different from the normal, general people are the most interesting ones. They stand out in the crowd. We read about them in the newspaper. Movies are made on their lives.


This doesn’t happen unless you raise your hands in surrender

Till you raise your hands and surrender, you are not defeated. Till you do not accept your defeat, you are not a failure. And the decision whether you will raise your hands in surrender, accept your surrender or not will completely depend on you. So, unless you yourself raise your hands in surrender and think that you are defeated, there is no possibility of you being defeated. And if you do not accept defeat and surrender, then the words of other people do not matter.

Even if someone labels you as a failure or a loser, do not accept it. And failing in some things can be in fact good for you because it will help you to become successful in something else and it will also enrich your life. You’ll understand that at the time when you become successful and when you win. Never ever let anyone else decide the direction, speed and any aspect of your life. This life is yours and so you decided yourself, you decide the direction, you decide the speed. Don’t become a puppet in anyone else’s hand.

Does it mean you don’t have to do anything in life?

No. It doesn’t mean that you can sit idle and do nothing in your life. Some people may believe that when you don’t do anything, there is no possibility of failing or losing anything. That’s not true.

This idea that you are not a failure or a loser is only for those people who tried. It is for those people tried to do something good, big and for other people but couldn’t do it for some reason or other. He tried once, twice, many times but even after that did not succeed. But he tried with his 100%. Such a man, even if he did not get the intended results, doesn’t have a big house, several cars, a big job, lots of money in the bank, or recognition from people, he is not a failure or a loser. These are the people who have always been motivating asked to do more and better.

If you try to do things that you want to do, you will also have respect for yourself. Sometimes, you may not achieve the desired results but you are always better than the person who never tried. It’s not easy to respect yourself and very few people can actually respect themselves. If you can respect yourself because you tried different things that you wanted to do, would you at any point of your life have the feeling “I am a failure and the loser?”

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